Casino Quotes Funny

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Casino Quotes Funny

'The casino played a song of its own—slot machines dinging, chips clacking as the dealer passed them out to the players at the tables, and the chatter of people throwing down money with the hope of hitting it big. It was like a carnival for adults. A person could get lost for days in a place like this.'. Nov 01, 2020 We've gathered some of the funniest quotes about gambling from tens of notorious people including ancient philosophers like Publilius Syrus, scientists like Albert Einstein, and actors like Paul Newman. Whether you're just dipping your toes into the gambling waters or you're a die-hard casino player, these lines will put a smile on your face. True luck consists not in holding the best of the cards at the table; luckiest is he who knows just when to rise and go home. John Milton Hay. In gambling the many must lose in order that the few may win. George Bernard Shaw. The gambling interests like to point to the construction jobs, but those jobs go away.
Last night I got thrown out of a casino… apparently I completely misunderstood the crap table.
In Vegas they'll bet on anything. One casino was ready to let me bet on whether I'd win or lose there.
I'm going to the casino tonight. I hope I break even. I need the money.

I had nothing to do, so just for a laugh I went to the casino. In three hours I'd laughed away my car.
What is the difference between a poker player and a dog? In about ten years the dog quits whining.
What's the difference between prayer in church and prayer in a casino? In a casino, you really mean it!
Why didn't the elephant like to play cards in the jungle? Because there were too many cheetahs (ok that was lame). Early casino proprietor.
The wife of a doctor called the casino to get her husband paged. They refused. The house doesn't make doctor calls.
Viva Las Vegas! It's the entertainment capital of the world, with shows, music, gambling, and much much more. Whether you're there to gamble, to catch a show, or just to see the sights, Vegas is a great place to make some memories (even if they have to stay in Vegas!) and that means taking some great pictures and videos for your Instagram feed. But once you have those pictures, you're going to need some snappy, catchy, or just plain literary quotes for your captions. That's what we're here for, so let's get started!
Love for Las Vegas'Las Vegas looks the way you'd imagine heaven must look at night.' – Chuck Palahnuik
'Vegas is everything that's right with America.' – Drew Carey
'Man, I really like Vegas.' – Elvis Presley
'Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.' – Artie Lange
'Las Vegas is sort of how God would do it if he had money.' – Steve Wynn
'A little bit of this town goes a long way.' – Hunter S. Thompson
'Las Vegas is the savage heart of the American Dream.' – 
Vegas is the answer no matter the question.
Keep calm and go to Vegas.
Life is more fun with games.
Vegas, here I come!
City of lights, smiles, and memories.
'What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas … but that doesn't matter when you live there.' – 
Here I get a break from my own thoughts.
Viva Las Vegas
Shiniest place on Earth.
Oasis City'Las Vegas: all the amenities of modern society in a habitat unfit to grow a tomato.' – Jason Love
An oasis of fun!
Desert rose.
The shiniest mirage.
Figurative and literal oasis.
'The view from the window, particularly if you enjoy neon, is extraordinary.' – 
Vegas Shenanigans'What happens in Vegas, I'm telling everyone.' – Dane Cook
'There's just no quiet in Vegas.' – Barry Manilow
'Boy, you get greedy in Vegas.' – Louie Anderson
'Every time I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.' – Artie Lange
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
'Buy the ticket, take the ride.' – Hunter S. Thompson
Alcohol you later!
I would just like to apologize in advance for my behavior in Vegas.
Goodbye reality. Hello Vegas!
Meanwhile, in Vegas…
'The secret of Vegas is that money is boring. Hence all the bluster.' – 
The sky's the limit.
'Everyone was going to lose their money at some point. You may as well do so half drunk and at the mercy of a pretty smile.' – 
Sun City
Lady Luck'Luck is believing you're lucky.' – Tennessee Williams
'Luck be a lady tonight.' – Frank Loesser
0% Luck – 100% Hustle
May good luck be your friend.
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, then people would stop dying.
I make my own luck.
'If I lost all, at least I would have played for it. It had always been my philosophy that one must play, or be a loser two-fold.' – 
The night is on my side.
You don't need luck when you've got these skills.
'Everything's a gamble, love most of all.' – 
Gambling Galore'May the flop be with you.' – Doyle Brunson
'If you can't beat them, bluff them.' – N.R. Kudelis
Life is a gamble.
Life is like a poker game; it's not what you're given – it's how you use it.
'I don't gamble, if you will concede that poker is a game of skill.' – 
Let the chips fall where they may!
'All life is a gamble and our lives are the dice we throw.' – 
Keep calm and play poker.
'The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.' – 
'It's hard to walk away from a winning streak, even harder to leave the table when you're on a losing one.' – 
Never bet against the house.
Going to Vegas and not gambling is like going to a restaurant and not eating.
Because if you're not winning, then what are you doing?
'It is impossible to change your luck. But, you can always change the machine you are at!' – 
Go rich, come home richer.
'Life's a game and men the gamblers. They'll stake their whole pile on the one chance in a thousand. Take away that one chance, and – they won't play.' – 
Poker face.
'The greatest risk is not taking one.' – 
Snake eyes!
'Gambling isn't fun; winning is fun.' – 
Casino Sayings Funny

Vegas Flicks'Why can't we remember anything that happened last night?' – The Hangover
'Why don't you give me half the money you were going to bet, we'll go out back, Ill kick you in the nuts, and we'll call it a day.' – Vegas Vacation
'You're either in or you're out. Right now.' – Ocean's Eleven
'I haven't seen so many side burns since West Side Story.' – Honeymoon in Vegas
Vegas in Literature'Las Vegas suggests that the thirst for places, for cities and gardens and wilderness, is unslaked, that people will still seek out the experience of wandering about in the open air to examine the architecture, the spectacles, and the stuff for sale, will still hanker after surprises and strangers.' – Rebecca Solnit
'Everyone is a bender away from oblivion.' – 
'I came to see that Las Vegas is not a freak but is, instead, deeply integrated with the rest of the country, and the world beyond. It is symptom, mirror, metaphor.' – 
'One more cockeyed optimist thrown under the reality bus.' – 
'I love Las Vegas because it's the one city less classy than Los Angeles.' – 
'The people who say New York never sleeps must have never visited Las Vegas.' – 
Gambling Quotes'It's like gambling, somehow. You go out for a night of drinking and you don't know where you're going to end up the next day. It could work out good, or it could be disastrous. It's like the throw of the dice.' — Jim Morrison
'I've never been to Vegas, but I've gambled all my life.' — Ryan Adams
'You must work and do good, not be lazy and gamble, if you wish to earn happiness. Laziness may appear attractive, but work gives satisfaction.' — Anne Frank
'There is something about jumping a horse over a fence, something that makes you feel good. Perhaps it's the risk, the gamble. In any event it's a thing I need.' — William Faulkner
'Life is a gamble, at terrible odds. If it were a bet you wouldn't take it.' — Tom Stoppard
'Love is a gamble and sometimes it hurts, but whether you win or lose being in love is a beautiful thing.' — M.J. Abraham
'If you know you're worth nothing, only a gamble with death can gratify your vanity.' — Don DeLillo
'I looked to the ceiling and told God, 'God, next time I want an adventure, strike me with lightning. You have my permission.' — Kristen Ashley
'Time is our gambling partner on the other side of the table and it holds all the cards of the deck in its hand, we have to guess the winning cards of life, our lives.' — José Saramago
'In my life, I've learned when to let shit go and when to fight. This, babe, what we got, I'll fight for.' — Kristen Ashley
'Maybe that's why adults drink, gamble, and do drugs – because they can't get naturally lit anymore. Maybe we lose that ability as we get older.' — Matthew Quick
'Women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.' — Gloria Steinem
'I generally find,' Clent murmured after a pause, ‘that it is best to treat borrowed time the same way as borrowed money. Spend it with panache, and try to be somewhere else when it runs out.' — Frances Hardinge
'Never kiss a girl whose brothers have knife scars.' — Robert Jordan
'What is life if not a gamble? — F.E. Higgins
'Whisky, gambling and Ferraris are better than housework.' — Françoise Sagan
'I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.' — W.C. Fields
'Life is gamble, It's harsh and painful most of the time, and it's not for the timid. Spoils go to the victor, not to the one who doesn't even show up for the battle.' — Acheron
'Gamble everything for love, if you're a true human being.' — Rumi
'Everything's a gamble, love most of all.' — Tess Gerritsen
Now get out on that strip, live a little, and up that social media game.
Want some more Instagram captions for your travels?
We've got captions for New York City!
We've got captions for Nashville!
We've got captions for Austin!

I had nothing to do, so just for a laugh I went to the casino. In three hours I'd laughed away my car.
What is the difference between a poker player and a dog? In about ten years the dog quits whining.
What's the difference between prayer in church and prayer in a casino? In a casino, you really mean it!
Why didn't the elephant like to play cards in the jungle? Because there were too many cheetahs (ok that was lame). Early casino proprietor.
The wife of a doctor called the casino to get her husband paged. They refused. The house doesn't make doctor calls.
Viva Las Vegas! It's the entertainment capital of the world, with shows, music, gambling, and much much more. Whether you're there to gamble, to catch a show, or just to see the sights, Vegas is a great place to make some memories (even if they have to stay in Vegas!) and that means taking some great pictures and videos for your Instagram feed. But once you have those pictures, you're going to need some snappy, catchy, or just plain literary quotes for your captions. That's what we're here for, so let's get started!
Love for Las Vegas'Las Vegas looks the way you'd imagine heaven must look at night.' – Chuck Palahnuik
'Vegas is everything that's right with America.' – Drew Carey
'Man, I really like Vegas.' – Elvis Presley
'Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.' – Artie Lange
'Las Vegas is sort of how God would do it if he had money.' – Steve Wynn
'A little bit of this town goes a long way.' – Hunter S. Thompson
'Las Vegas is the savage heart of the American Dream.' – 
Vegas is the answer no matter the question.
Keep calm and go to Vegas.
Life is more fun with games.
Vegas, here I come!
City of lights, smiles, and memories.
'What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas … but that doesn't matter when you live there.' – 
Here I get a break from my own thoughts.
Viva Las Vegas
Shiniest place on Earth.
Oasis City'Las Vegas: all the amenities of modern society in a habitat unfit to grow a tomato.' – Jason Love
An oasis of fun!
Desert rose.
The shiniest mirage.
Figurative and literal oasis.
'The view from the window, particularly if you enjoy neon, is extraordinary.' – 
Vegas Shenanigans'What happens in Vegas, I'm telling everyone.' – Dane Cook
'There's just no quiet in Vegas.' – Barry Manilow
'Boy, you get greedy in Vegas.' – Louie Anderson
'Every time I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.' – Artie Lange
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
'Buy the ticket, take the ride.' – Hunter S. Thompson
Alcohol you later!
I would just like to apologize in advance for my behavior in Vegas.
Goodbye reality. Hello Vegas!
Meanwhile, in Vegas…
'The secret of Vegas is that money is boring. Hence all the bluster.' – 
The sky's the limit.
'Everyone was going to lose their money at some point. You may as well do so half drunk and at the mercy of a pretty smile.' – 
Sun City
Lady Luck'Luck is believing you're lucky.' – Tennessee Williams
'Luck be a lady tonight.' – Frank Loesser
0% Luck – 100% Hustle
May good luck be your friend.
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, then people would stop dying.
I make my own luck.
'If I lost all, at least I would have played for it. It had always been my philosophy that one must play, or be a loser two-fold.' – 
The night is on my side.
You don't need luck when you've got these skills.
'Everything's a gamble, love most of all.' – 
Gambling Galore'May the flop be with you.' – Doyle Brunson
'If you can't beat them, bluff them.' – N.R. Kudelis
Life is a gamble.
Life is like a poker game; it's not what you're given – it's how you use it.
'I don't gamble, if you will concede that poker is a game of skill.' – 
Let the chips fall where they may!
'All life is a gamble and our lives are the dice we throw.' – 
Keep calm and play poker.
'The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.' – 
'It's hard to walk away from a winning streak, even harder to leave the table when you're on a losing one.' – 
Never bet against the house.
Going to Vegas and not gambling is like going to a restaurant and not eating.
Because if you're not winning, then what are you doing?
'It is impossible to change your luck. But, you can always change the machine you are at!' – 
Go rich, come home richer.
'Life's a game and men the gamblers. They'll stake their whole pile on the one chance in a thousand. Take away that one chance, and – they won't play.' – 
Poker face.
'The greatest risk is not taking one.' – 
Snake eyes!
'Gambling isn't fun; winning is fun.' – 
Casino Sayings FunnyVegas Flicks'Why can't we remember anything that happened last night?' – The Hangover
'Why don't you give me half the money you were going to bet, we'll go out back, Ill kick you in the nuts, and we'll call it a day.' – Vegas Vacation
'You're either in or you're out. Right now.' – Ocean's Eleven
'I haven't seen so many side burns since West Side Story.' – Honeymoon in Vegas
Vegas in Literature'Las Vegas suggests that the thirst for places, for cities and gardens and wilderness, is unslaked, that people will still seek out the experience of wandering about in the open air to examine the architecture, the spectacles, and the stuff for sale, will still hanker after surprises and strangers.' – Rebecca Solnit
'Everyone is a bender away from oblivion.' – 
'I came to see that Las Vegas is not a freak but is, instead, deeply integrated with the rest of the country, and the world beyond. It is symptom, mirror, metaphor.' – 
'One more cockeyed optimist thrown under the reality bus.' – 
'I love Las Vegas because it's the one city less classy than Los Angeles.' – 
'The people who say New York never sleeps must have never visited Las Vegas.' – 
Gambling Quotes'It's like gambling, somehow. You go out for a night of drinking and you don't know where you're going to end up the next day. It could work out good, or it could be disastrous. It's like the throw of the dice.' — Jim Morrison
'I've never been to Vegas, but I've gambled all my life.' — Ryan Adams
'You must work and do good, not be lazy and gamble, if you wish to earn happiness. Laziness may appear attractive, but work gives satisfaction.' — Anne Frank
'There is something about jumping a horse over a fence, something that makes you feel good. Perhaps it's the risk, the gamble. In any event it's a thing I need.' — William Faulkner
'Life is a gamble, at terrible odds. If it were a bet you wouldn't take it.' — Tom Stoppard
'Love is a gamble and sometimes it hurts, but whether you win or lose being in love is a beautiful thing.' — M.J. Abraham
'If you know you're worth nothing, only a gamble with death can gratify your vanity.' — Don DeLillo
'I looked to the ceiling and told God, 'God, next time I want an adventure, strike me with lightning. You have my permission.' — Kristen Ashley
'Time is our gambling partner on the other side of the table and it holds all the cards of the deck in its hand, we have to guess the winning cards of life, our lives.' — José Saramago
'In my life, I've learned when to let shit go and when to fight. This, babe, what we got, I'll fight for.' — Kristen Ashley
'Maybe that's why adults drink, gamble, and do drugs – because they can't get naturally lit anymore. Maybe we lose that ability as we get older.' — Matthew Quick
'Women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.' — Gloria Steinem
'I generally find,' Clent murmured after a pause, ‘that it is best to treat borrowed time the same way as borrowed money. Spend it with panache, and try to be somewhere else when it runs out.' — Frances Hardinge
'Never kiss a girl whose brothers have knife scars.' — Robert Jordan
'What is life if not a gamble? — F.E. Higgins
'Whisky, gambling and Ferraris are better than housework.' — Françoise Sagan
'I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.' — W.C. Fields
'Life is gamble, It's harsh and painful most of the time, and it's not for the timid. Spoils go to the victor, not to the one who doesn't even show up for the battle.' — Acheron
'Gamble everything for love, if you're a true human being.' — Rumi
'Everything's a gamble, love most of all.' — Tess Gerritsen
Now get out on that strip, live a little, and up that social media game.
Want some more Instagram captions for your travels?
We've got captions for New York City!
We've got captions for Nashville!
We've got captions for Austin!
The Movie Casino QuotesOf course we have captions for Disney World!
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And yes, we've got captions for Washington, DC!
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